You are a walking
representation ofyour daily habits.

When I became a dad no one told me how much life would change in every aspect of life. Yes you lose sleep and have a few more jobs to do, but it goes deeper than that. As dads it is our primary responsibility to protect and provide, it's a subconscious action. As a result, BY FAR the biggest change I noticed was the change in my priority list and my perception of time.

I went from being an ex-soldier who started taking part in physique competitions and building a business, to not training, not sleeping and looking like a bag of potatoes in the mirror — and this is coming from a fitness pro. It's very easy to lose a sense of who you are and who you used to be. This is something which affects all dads, but is rarely spoken about.

So it's time we changed that. Here are the 5 mistakes dads often make and how to create change.

1. YOU PUT YOURSELF AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR PRIORITY LIST EVERY DAY

Every day you have a finite amount of energy to spend. Most of this is taken up with work, looking after your kids and getting moaned at by your wife. After you have finished completing all your required tasks, the last thing you want to do is prepare your food, hit the gym or get an early night. You are now officially spending your entire day SERVING OTHERS. What happened to that strong, independent man who was in charge of his own decisions?

Here's a statement I love because it is so true and reflects a dad's dedication to his role as a provider and protector: 'A man will give up his happiness for his family, a woman will give up her family for her happiness.'

What makes this reality even worse is you know you're doing it. You know you ignore that voice in the back of your head that represents the true version of you as you push yourself to the bottom of your priority list every day.

So how do you regain control? Start SMALL. Tiny changes lead to BIG results. Get to bed early. Start tracking your steps. Squeeze in 3 x 30 minute gym workouts a week. Start eating more protein. Start drinking more water. Start taking your lunch to work instead of going to Greggs.

The key here is consistency — choose a daily habit you can stick to even at the weekend. Over time this change will lead to other changes and before you know it you're booking half marathons, admiring your six pack and your wife moans at you less as she recognises she's now out of your league.

Remember this: 'You are a walking representation of your daily habits.' It's what you do every day that determines who you are, what you achieve and who you become.

2. YOU AVOID ACCOUNTABILITY BY TELLING YOURSELF 'YOU HAVEN'T GOT TIME'

I love this excuse, and I hear it EVERY DAY. It is by far the weakest excuse and tells me you have basically given up and succumbed to a life of serving others. The reason it's the worst thing you tell yourself is because it is purely a narrative YOU have created. Time is NEVER going to change, meaning that if you tell yourself this excuse, you are avoiding taking ALL accountability for the choices you make regarding your own health.

Here's the harsh truth: time is never going to change. The longer you keep telling yourself you 'haven't got time', the larger your waistline will become, the weaker your body will get and the less attractive you will become to your wife — because I guarantee you were none of those things when you first met.

If you can't change time, the only thing you can change is your perception of time. It all starts by YOU taking accountability for your decisions every day. Instead of telling yourself you haven't got time, try and find some. All you need to do is start small. Make one change to begin with, commit to it, and you will be surprised where it leads.

This is why I set up the 5am Fitness Club which I run in Essex. Purely for busy dads who otherwise would struggle to get to the gym. Instead, they get up at 4:30am and start hitting the weights with me 3x a week. My question to you is: what are you doing at 5am? If the answer is sleeping, then you are missing out on what I call the GOLDEN HOUR. 5am is the only time in the day you're not answering emails, looking after your kids or driving to work.

3. NOT THINKING ABOUT YOUR FOOD — THE GRAB AND GO MENTALITY

This habit is a direct result of the top two mistakes. Your diet and training go hand in hand — if you lose focus of one, you lose focus of the other. If you're not looking after your body physically, it is highly unlikely you're going to give your diet a second thought. But you are neglecting the most influential variable when it comes to your health.

If I could grant you three wishes when it comes to your health, you'd probably wish to live a long life full of vitality, to be very fit cardiovascularly, and to be strong and muscular. The LARGEST variable on all of these is your diet, and you're ignoring this every day and filling yourself with rubbish food, beer and caffeine. Basically you're purposely working towards the opposite of the above.

On social media there's a common trend of dads stating they would 'die for their children'. The more pressing question is: would you LIVE for your kids? If you are NOT prioritising what you eat every day, then in short, you're not. You are actively reducing your longevity every day.

Making diet changes is easy. Remember, small changes lead to big results. Reduce carbohydrates and eat more protein. Eat a portion of veg with every meal you have, including breakfast. Start taking your food to work with you instead of buying out. Introduce an intermittent fasting model to control calorie intake and reduce evening snacking.

There have been many research studies into the best diet for longevity. As much as you will find deviations in the results, one area which is conclusive is eat more veg. The more veg in your diet the longer you will live.

4. PRIORITISING NETFLIX OVER SLEEP

This one I get — when I get home from work around 10:45pm, having started at 5am, all I want to do is sit on the sofa, eat my dinner and watch some escapism. But that's after a day of work, hitting the gym and ensuring my food is on point. I speak to so many guys who are sat down from 19:30 to watch three hours of TV. What makes it even more interesting is it's normally these dads who use the excuse 'I haven't got time'.

Sitting down and watching Netflix is something that should be seen as a reward for smashing another day and taking steps forward towards achieving your objectives in life.

Have you heard the speech by the head of advertising for Lamborghini? When asked why he doesn't advertise on TV his answer hit hard: 'Because my target market aren't sat watching TV.' Ouch.

Interesting fact about Netflix: the CEO was asked at a conference what Netflix's largest rival was. You're probably thinking Prime, Apple TV. He answered: SLEEP. Because if people are sleeping they are not watching TV. Netflix is literally designed to stop you sleeping. Get to bed.

5. YOU DON'T PRIORITISE EXERCISE

This is the single biggest mistake you make. I understand why — work, your kids and your wife suck up all your energy every day — but the truth is as you get older you're getting WEAKER.

Your body adapts to the environment it's in. If your body is required to handle load on a regular basis then your testosterone levels will remain steady and your muscle size and strength will improve. If the most your body is required to do daily is pour a cup of coffee, then you lose muscle mass, you become weaker, your testosterone levels decrease (starting from 35), your energy levels reduce, and you look and feel rubbish.

What's even more frustrating is you DON'T need to be smashing hour-long workouts. The MED (minimum effective dose) for exercise is just 30 minutes. That means all you need to do each week is squeeze in 3 x 30 minute workouts to elicit an increase in muscle size, strength and function.

From the age of 35 your testosterone levels start to reduce. This ramps up as you hit your 40s; by your late 40s and 50s your testosterone levels can reduce by up to 3% per year. That means your energy levels reduce, your muscle mass reduces, your red blood cell count reduces and your metabolism reduces.

CONCLUSION

I understand why you are making these five mistakes — you're tired. But I need you to understand the following: looking after yourself is NOT A CHOICE. You are a dad, it's MANDATORY.

The fact is, if you don't take care of yourself then you are literally diminishing every day bit by bit. You won't notice at first, then one day you will look in the mirror and not recognise the man staring back at you.

Remember: SMALL CHANGES lead to BIG RESULTS. Start making little improvements to your daily habits, remain consistent, and I promise in 3-6 months you will be amazed by the results.

Coach James